WASHINGTON—In an emergency press conference held this morning, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff urged the American public to be on the lookout for a folder that was misplaced sometime in the last 24 hours, most likely in the DHS offices, but also possibly anywhere else….
“I can assure everyone that the assistant secretary could have sworn she had it when she went through the metal detector,” said DHS Secretary Chertoff.
The Onion has more.